Sometimes I get lost in your dark mood,It's like a thick, consuming fog bellowing across my very soul,
I know it's not your fault,
I understand you don't choose to be this way,
I can only begin to imagine how it feels for you in the darkness,
That black solitude that grabs a hold of your heart,
Those whirlwind of thoughts that refuse to be reigned in.
But days like today,
I only feel my pain,
And ignore yours.
I only feel the coldness of that lonely smile in your eyes,
And not the welcoming warmth in your arms.
I only feel the sadness,
That threatens to exhaust me,
But not your loving words that are whispered so adoringly.
Today I feel like I am walking uphill,
Through a swamp like mire,
No hand to hold,
No voice to lead me,
Just desolate country side all around me,
And it's cold,
So fuckin' cold.
And who turned the God damn lights off???
You know I hate it in the dark,
Please don't leave me here too long,
For each moment I am here,
My soul becomes more invisible,
Until eventually my spirit disappears,
I don't wanna be invisible anymore...
Do you hear me?
Sugar x
1 comment:
Stumbled in here and am enjoying your poems... The feeling this one conveys is a bit too familiar...
What I'd like to know... is if they (the men we love and adore) really "can't help it" - (it = being dark, and moody, and well... you know).... How, exactly, is it that they can control this anger... sadness, etc. - with pretty much EREVYbody else?
I lived for years accepting it. And, finally hit a point where I was like - "ok... if you can put on a smiley face for everyone else... even if it's not real?... put it on for me too, dammitt!"
Ya know?
This was what I wrote about briefly, not as eloquently as you, in my poem called "treat me like a stranger" (http://smjpoems.wordpress.com/2007/06/09/treat-me-like-a-stranger/)
Take care,
~smj
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